AKA’s Mom On Dealing With Grief: “I Went Through a Period I Hated God Completely”

In a raw and deeply moving conversation with Ikigai Awakening Podcast, Lynn Forbes — the mother of late rapper Kiernan “AKA” Forbes — opened up about the spiritual turmoil she faced in the wake of her son’s tragic passing.

Speaking candidly, Lynn admitted that her grief shook her faith to its core.

“I went through a period I hated God completely,” she revealed. “I didn’t believe. I had some time with AKA’s pastor, Kabelo… AKA was very religious in his last year or so before he died. He was not just religious, but very spiritual. He is in heaven.”

Lynn explained that the depth of her loss led her into a season of anger and questioning.

“I would get angry. I questioned things. I still do.”

The conversation also offered an intimate glimpse into the man AKA had become in the year before his passing — a man grounded in faith and spirituality. According to Lynn, her son’s renewed spiritual journey was a source of comfort, even as her own relationship with God faltered.

Grief, she noted, is not a linear process. For Lynn, it’s been a complex mix of disbelief, searching for answers, and slowly making peace with the things she may never understand.

Her honesty reflects a universal truth for many who have lost loved ones — that faith can be tested in the darkest valleys, and healing often comes in layers.